Here Am I, Send Me....

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The question before me has been simple, “Katie, do you trust me with your heart and with your deepest longings and desires? Do you trust that what I have in store for you is far greater than what you could ever dream?” I ran from that question for a long time but slowly began to see the destructiveness of the heart that seeks its own desires above the Lord’s.

I grew up as a missionary kid overseas and always assumed that was where I would end up as well. That is what I thought was expected of every missionary kid. Little did I know that was where God was actually leading me. That decision however, took a long sabbatical as I pursued my own desires, jumping from job to job, interest to interest and place to place. But God has faithfully pursued my wandering heart to bring me to a place of surrender.

In August of last year I began the process of applying to Ethnos Canada’s missionary training program. Ethnos Canada is a mission organization that seeks to reach the unreached people groups of the world. To equip them with a thriving church, the word of God in their heart language, the ability to read it, and equip them to then reach out to those around them.

Abundant life is found in walking in obedience with our Heavenly Father no matter the cost. Helen Roseveare once said, “The question is not is it worth it, the question is, is He worthy? There really is no cost, only the privilege of serving the King of Kings." When I feel like my strength is failing, I can rest in the truth that, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness…”(2 Cor 12:9) When I doubt that he has my best in mind, I can rest in the truth that “God works everything for the good of those who love him…” (Rom 8:28) When I am having a hard time trusting him with the unknown, I can “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your path straight.” (Prov 3:5-6) When I feel discouraged, I can rest in the truth that, “the joy of the Lord is my strength…” (Neh 8:10). Will this life be easy? Is life anywhere easy? No, “in this life you will have trouble, but take heart I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) A lot of the time I have no idea what God is doing, but one thing I know for certain is that I can trust him because he is faithful. There has never been a time in eternity past, nor will there be a time in eternity future where He is not faithful. There is a world of people who don’t know my heavenly father. People who are destined for a life without the surpassing greatness of knowing Him. How can I selfishly say no to those people because I was too afraid to step out in faith. Lord, “Here I am, send me.” (Is 6:8).

On Friday (July 28th) I’ll be leaving Edmonton to spend some time with my family in Saskatchewan before making the drive up to Ontario to begin the 18-month missionary training program. This is the first level of Ethnos’ 3 fold equipping process (will share more on these other levels later). This first level of training consists of linguistics, church planting, basic missionary skills (from field medical to how to learn a new language and culture). Many opportunities will be presented during my time in the training and I’m trusting that God will direct me in what those next steps after the training might be.


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